Ladies, Are You a Catch?
Last Updated on Friday, 06 November 2009 05:19 Written by Udodi Okoh Friday, 06 November 2009 04:45
I think it's safe to say we've all been there: questioning our characteristics, wondering what defines us and how we can put out those differences to appear as though we are creams of the crop, but why is that? For me, there’s a subtle beauty in being indefinable.
I personally do not believe in the capacity of individuals to be ‘catches' or label themselves as the exception. This falls right between an unhealthy egotistical nature and boarder line insanity. To those of you who consider yourselves catches, what defines a catch?
It seems as though the idea of being a 'good' one amongst the foolwangery that plagues our 20-30 year old generation, has very little validity. I am not discrediting the positive characteristics that you might personally have which can be socially ideal for a relationship, I am however employing you to look beyond the reasons you consider yourself a catch and see if those characteristics are reflected in the people around you. If you consider yourself a catch, maybe you should remove yourself from your current circle or situation, find those with similar beliefs, ideals, and then will you be able to see that maybe you've just been around the wrong group of people, because quite honestly, that’s a mess. And to what does one differently bring to a relationship if you see yourself as a catch? Nothing. You know why? Because nothing is easy. You can be a catch, link up with another person who also defines themselves as one 'hellauva' person, and still go through troubles, trials, and hard times. So instead, refuse the tendency to downplay the role of compatibility, work, and perseverance, because you will soon see these three things are the catalysis to lasting relationships, not an exclusive brand or consortium of subjective characteristics, beliefs, and ideals.
Now that we’ve gotten through that here is my next question. Are you The Catch, the one who is to be ‘seized’? Or do you with your u
nwavering ways become the ‘but’ at the end of every phrase, the undeniable end to a no win situation? There is danger in both descriptions. The first presents a race, that one must win and the later simply highlights the lady with all the external things down pack, but deep down on the inside something there is just wrong. If you’re setting yourself apart from the stereotypical ideals of what it means to be a woman, do you know what you’ll want out of a relationship?
Because what I want more than finding myself a catch is finding my best friend, a friend that can give me the reassurance that later- be it months, one, two, ten years from now my relationship will feel the same way it does now because we’ve worked for it. A relationship that can teach me how to disagree without attacking, how to open myself up to someone else about all of my insecurities and self-doubts, how to listen to someone else’s dreams, hopes, fears, and how to celebrate a person for just being who they are. Its my suggestion for all those who see themselves as catches to simply realize your authenticity and allow yourself to be who you are without apologies. Embrace the unique and special qualities that made you who you are, but don’t exclusively define yourself in opposition to what you see around you--so before you annihilate me, these are merely my thoughts. I would love to hear yours.
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