Issue01 Allen in South Africa: "I Am Not Tiger Woods...Me Either"
Last Updated on Monday, 15 February 2010 04:05 Written by Misha Stallworth Tuesday, 09 February 2010 06:10
2010-02-09
I am in a state of absolute sports emergency as the Super Bowl (being broadcast in over 230 countries) will not be watched by me while in South Africa. It is being broadcast here, but the time difference is a huge problem. Nonetheless, not much is really happening here as we just recovered from the long weekend. (Spare me the lecture on how I should get over this because I am in South Africa and should appreciate the opportunity. I do but that does not do a darn thing to help me deal with something I want and cannot have. Nothing is more annoying than people reconciling a situation by giving reference to another opportunity/situation. That does zero for the current situation. Whew, glad I got that off my chest) This does not mean that I do not have stories because I do and they involve me and Tiger Woods.
So I decided that on Saturday I would not go to sleep and planned on enjoying the nightlife until sun up (including a trip to the casino). Upon arriving at “The Waiting Room” we met out friends who met some very industrious character with slick hair and surfer trunks. The hair oozed of the slick oil people in movies use in their hair to indicate shady personalities. Nonetheless, he saw me and said I looked like Tiger Woods! I look very unlike Tiger Woods (though I have played him in various contexts in the past) and could not believe that he suggested such a thing. After making some Tiger Woods jokes, all of which were funny, he went on in his failed attempt to get with the ladies.
Before all this hilarity, I went through a somewhat awkward moment in retrospect involving a woman and me walking past her to get to my friends. As I said excuse me (twice in a very calm voice) she moved her legs and asked if I had my papers: “Show me your papers to pass.” She said this in a fairly relaxed tone, though the person next to her (presumably her friend as she was talking to her before and after I passed) made a somewhat shocked face. Normally I would not think too much on such a small incident except for the fact that a notable feature during the Apartheid government was the institution of passes for coloureds/blacks in order to move about town. Perhaps this was a racial incident and perhaps it was all in jest, but either way it stuck out considering the situation and the reaction by her friend. Factors that should be accounted for: I do not know if this is a common joke used throughout Cape Town (please do not respond with extensive comments about how it is inappropriate to joke about those things. I enjoy humour, especially racial humour. Humour allows people to better cope with the situations around them) and she did have a drink in her hand and may have been a touch on the tipsy side. Conversely, it may have been totally mean spirited and racial charges and I am just too naive to recognize it and react to it. I will admit that I do take a more easy going approach to race relations and give benefit of the doubt in many circumstances; I have yet to experience obvious, negative racism. As I learned today, beliefs are snapshots of an ever changing progression called life. It is who I am.
Let me consider the possible responses to a circumstance where an unfamiliar entity (me) encounters an apparently racially charged situation. I certainly could have felt offended for making such a statement and verbally chastised her actions. Or I could have felt offended, not said anything to her and dealt with the offense on my own terms. Or I could have not been offended at all and ignored the situation all together. Or I could have felt nothing at the time and only consider the situation when bored by conversation regarding absolute lunacy. I chose the last option. Why? There are too many elements in the equation that I cannot account for to make an accurate judgment of intent; for me, intent is a highly important factor especially regarding the prevalent nature of -isms when discussing social strife/privilege. I can also say that the circumstance did not really garner any need for me to be insulted. She did not dictate anything that would have prevented me from doing what I wanted, at any given time. I thought it to be foolish, but nothing damning enough that I really cared about what she said. It was a statement like any other statement and the moment was over. But the statement clearly carried enough weight that I contemplated it enough to include in my blog with a healthy among of words dedicated to the topic. I think the situation is done but certainly interesting.
Later, two people met some girls in our group and decided to join us for conversation and the like. Both thought I looked like Tiger Woods (bringing the Tiger counter up to 3) and one immediately thought I was not from America until I opened my mouth and spoke to which he said “yeah, you are from the States.” These people were nice characters from Johannesburg where we will be going in roughly two/three weeks. Both explained that they absolutely loved Tiger Woods and owed a great deal to him, being that he is such a great man. I thought the two met Tiger but I learned that they enjoy gambling and Tiger was ALWAYS a winner. Apparently they won enough to pay for schooling and some extra-curricular activity (such as buying drinks for our group including the statement that I - being Tiger Woods and all - looked like I would enjoy whiskey but I told him he did not have to buy me anything. He reluctantly said ok and went about his business) I never met such proud gamblers who felt like Tiger Woods made their lives and in many practical ways did. They also spoke of South African golfer Ernie Els; they said the worst kept secret is that the Big Easy is a total party animal and drinks like a fish. They recounted many stories about how great of a guy Els is and that he always finishes a drink or two or 15.
The night moved to Zula bar where we celebrated Bob Marley’s birthday with a reggae themed evening of music. I think more reggae needs to be played on a nightly basis because the song carries great beats and nice lyrics, when you can understand them. After coming home at 4:30am and staying awake with the “Hangover Prevention” group, I went to bed at 6:03am with the sounds of the birds chirping and sun rising over the eastern mountains. That may sound picturesque but it was awful because I was tired and trying to sleep with all that going on is very much (how would you Americans say…) a pain in the assets.
I really enjoyed my night through. Twas a lot of fun.
Other things happened besides going on and enjoying the people. I went to the movie theater to see “Where the Wild Things Are” based on the childrens book. I did not really enjoy the movie because it was not the kind of genre I would like, but give me credit for going. I thought the movie would be great for kids though - considering it came under major scrutiny for being too dark and frightening. It is about a kid who interacts with monsters. They look weird, they sound like people, and they act like monsters. That is who they are and that is what is in the book. Get over it. I like the movie as a piece of art directed towards kids and would encourage people with kids (or a young/soft heart) to see it. Feeling particularly good about life, I then visited The Slave Lodge to learn about slavery and its history in South Africa. A very nice museum with clever exhibits and presentations regarding the topic at hand.
But the real gem among this trip involved an excursion to the Eastern Food Bazaar. It is a series of stations featuring food from the global east: Nizami-Kebab, China Town, Istanbul - Shawarma/Falafel, Madras, Tandoori, Punjabi, and Bombay Bites. It is all food that comes freshly prepared, very cheap, and very tasty. The most expensive dish is 30 rands (a little bit over $4) and it was a treat. You should look up the Eastern Food Bazaar at www.easternfoodbazaar.co.za
Tomorrow we begin an exploration into modern day South Africa beginning with the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (in my top five amazing political feats in modern history). Until next time….
ALL II
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